Learning To Use The 'N' Word

Blerrghh... This morning started with a weigh in. Up from last Friday - evidence of a week of poor decisions mostly from being over-tired and under-prepared. For some reason, the more tired I am of an evening the better a glass of wine and a (giant) bowl of cereal after dinner sounds, even if I'm not hungry! Definitely something to work on... I guess it's just a matter of learning to say No to that voice inside my head that tells me I absolutely need to eat a handful of choc chips/spoonful of nut butter/cookie!

The inability to say no is a long running theme in my life. Whether it be due to pure laziness when it comes to making poor food decisions, or the desire to avoid letting someone down when they ask me to do something, it's an area that I've always struggled with.

Take my meeting with a colleague the other day. He asked me to complete an application to our paraplanning department for him. Not only was it outside of my job description, I honestly didn't have the foggiest idea of how to do it. He even fully admitted that it was something that he should be doing himself but he'd looked at the paperwork and basically couldn't be bothered faffing around with it...

I spent countless hours over the next two days learning the process, tearing my hair out over it while trying to fit in all the other work that I was actually supposed to be doing just because I didn't want to let my colleague down by saying no. 

So frustrating...

To make matters worse I checked my email this morning and saw a message from my new boss at the hotel asking me to work some extra shifts. One of them was a dinner shift the evening of Danny's birthday. I had already agreed to work the breakfast that day but promised Danny that I wouldn't agree to any more. Yet as I was typing my email back I felt a huge rush of guilt over saying No and I briefly considered ringing Danny to see if he'd really mind if I took the shift...  

I made the smart decision and told her no and then rang Danny to let him know that I had declined that shift but I have agreed to an extra one tomorrow. I admitted to him that I had felt bad saying no. He reminded me that the beauty of this second job was that I didn't actually need it... We aren't in a bad way financially and I was doing this to get a taste of working in a professional kitchen. My world was not going to implode in on itself if I said no, the worst that was going to happen was that they stop giving me shifts!

He really is my voice of reason...

Now if I can just arrange for him to be around whenever I am standing in front of the pantry, ready to eat the entirety of its contents, I would be okay!

I'd Like To Know...
Do you struggle with the 'N' word too?