Confidence Tuesday : Physical Confidence

Welcome to Confidence Tuesday. Dedicated to everything confidence;  Building it, learning about it, examining it in others and re-hashing/understanding some of my most uncomfortable 'lack-of-confidence' moments.

Welcome to the very first Confidence Tuesday (CT) @ And She Ran! 

I have so many different topics that I want to cover off as part of CT, including a few personal no-confidence moments that need to be dissected, but I want to start things of with something positive; Running! Given that this blog was started as a means to document my Couch to 5K experience, it seems only right.

When the desire to 'learn to run' reared its head early last year, I honestly couldn't fathom exactly what it would bring me. If I would have known, maybe I wouldn't have put it off for so long!? My main motivation to get started was weight loss. Up until then I had been walking to burn the calories and as I lost more and more weight I found I had to walk further and further to get the same results.

When I looked at the C25K program, I really didn't think I had what it took to finish it. The one minute intervals seemed overwhelmingly difficult, let alone the idea that I would EVER be able to run for 30 minutes without walking! I had so much self-doubt around the whole running thing that I kept pushing it to the back of my mind, bring up the C25K website every now and again to tease myself.

A lot of this doubt came from my previous failed attempt at running, but mostly from a lack of confidence in myself and what I was capable of. I thought it was better to 'not try' rather than 'try and fail'.

I can't tell you exactly what happened to spur me into moving from 'wanting' to actually 'doing'. Maybe I enviously watched one too many graceful runners powering along and it got the better of me? Or, more likely, the scales may not have budged for a week or two and I couldn't cope with the thought of a plateau. I thought a blog, where I could be anonymously open about my C25K experience would give me some much needed accountability and help me through the tough days. I didn't think I could rely on myself for that accountability... And, by keeping things anonymous, I could easily drop of the face of the Blogging Earth if I failed miserably! Yeah, I went into the program with an exit strategy, that's how much faith I had in myself.

The program started... And each run was hard... My lungs burned, my legs ached and I spent a lot of time wondering why I was choosing to do this to myself! But then the run would be over, and I would have such an amazing feeling of accomplishment. I would spend the rest of the day, gingerly hobbling around, with a huge smile on my face and a true happiness inside me that I can't even describe.

My biggest hurdle came on Week 5, Day 3 of the program... A twenty minute run, no walking. I lost sleep the night before, I was that nervous! To me, it felt like this one day was the real test of whether I was going to see the whole thing through. But when the twenty minutes was up and I had actually done it, I felt unstoppable! And it was a pretty overwhelming feeling because I hadn't felt that feeling for a very, very long time.

Confidence in social situations, in difficult conversations, when I am out of my comfort zone and so many other times is still a huge problem for me but the simple act of taking a chance on myself and starting the C25K program has given me a PHYSICAL confidence that I never thought I could have. Now, when I look at my half-marathon training program, I'm not looking for an exit strategy. I am excited! I know it is going to be hard work, and some days are going to suck the big one, but I KNOW I can do it... I am CONFIDENT in that!

Little by little I can feel that positive, confident attitude creeping into other parts of my life.

I'm not sure what would have happened if I didn't take that chance on myself and tried. Would I have still lost weight? Maybe... But maybe I would have stagnated on the weight loss front and given up completely, like so many times before. I know one thing, I wouldn't have started this blog which has provided me with support and friends and happiness. I wouldn't have done the triathlon. I wouldn't have a set of kick-ass legs that Danny affectionately refers to as 'slabs of concrete'. And I certainly wouldn't have the pride in myself when I think of how long, how far, how fast I can run.

Now, when I approach situations that aren't necessarily 'physical' but that are outside of my comfort zone, say something at work, I think to myself "You didn't think you could run for thirty minutes and you could. You can do this too!" Most of the time it works, sometimes I pike out :) But that's what Confidence Tuesdays are all about right?

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Your Turn:
What physical goal have you set and achieved that gives you more confidence? Are you currently working on a goal?